god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The best revenge is premature balding
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
