I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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