imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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