I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
