Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
