wat bout pragnant strippers??
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
