this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
