Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
