I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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