Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
