Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
