i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she told me i tasted like america
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize