I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
