WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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