Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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