ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
