you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
