How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
