i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
