so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
