Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
