East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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