if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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