Can Purell be used as lube?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
