Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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