I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
