Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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