1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
