theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize