operation harelip BJ is a go
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
