Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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