An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
