I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
