only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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