fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
