we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
