Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
