Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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