Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
