the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
