she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Vodka?
Forever.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
third nipple confirmed
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
