Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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