Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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