yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
