I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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