From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
sarcasm needs its own font
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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