real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize