Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you never un-have a 4some
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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