I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
