omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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