I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
