what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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