Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
