Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
