If i come over, it means nothing
Tell her she can't have a vagina
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
