I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize