Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

My liver just broke up with me...

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(914): View more from New York

he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.

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(916): View more from California

I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"

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(201): View more from New Jersey

On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in

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(510): View more from California

Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

You threw him in the dryer?

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.

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