i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
