This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize