Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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