He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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