Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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