Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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