The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
