I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
