If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
