The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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