Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
