I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
